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Why we don’t use the phone book anymore…

May 26th, 2009
why-we-dont-use-the-phone-book-anymore

A month or so ago when the cables were cut that wiped out internet and long distance phone service for much of the south bay, I actually had to use the phone book. It reminded me of the joy (sarcasm) of using the Yellow Pages.

Let’s face it, there isn’t just one “yellow pages” anymore. There are a zillion different brands and you know what? Nobody cares. Know why? Because we’re using the internet to find the products and services we need. I remembered what a pain it was to use the phone book when I couldn’t find the business I was looking for in the yellow pages section. The business was probably listed, but for the life of me I couldn’t find the right category and that meant I couldn’t find the business. Oh how I wished for Google and its 2-second job of doing the dirty work for me.

I have somewhere around 10 phone books tucked away in different parts of my house “in case of emergency” but I really just want to throw them all away. I’ve stopped bringing in most new ones that are dropped off at the house. Most of them go straight into the garbage can. I don’t even bother taking them out of the plastic wrap. Chunk - in they go. I update every few years, but that’s about it. I mostly keep them around, like I said - in case of emergency, but they are still pretty useless as a source of information. I figure they will be handy as seating, step stools, or stuff to burn in the event of nuclear halocaust.

That being said, if you have a product or service you’d like me to buy or at least consider buying and you’re only listed in the phone book, then we will probably never meet. If your only presence online is the cheesy phone book listing where you don’t even have an actual domain email address for your business but are using yahoo, gmail or something equally unprofessional, your chances with me are still pretty slim. Why? Because if one of your competitors took the time, effort, or dollars to create (or hired someone to create) an actual online presence with a real domain name (as in www.yourbusiness.com), then I’m 80% more likely to give them my business instead of you unless I already have positive experience with you.

Why? Because online is how I choose to search for information in this day and age and I appreciate it when a business makes it easy for me to find their product or service online. I appreciate it when they are thoughtful enough to make sure I have the information I need to find them, consider them, etc.

If you’re on a budge, even a great looking, one-page informational site can be enough to help people find you online and express your solid interest in the internet customer.

And… if you’re one of the few people out there that are saying you don’t have time for the internet, consider this: Just because you don’t have time for the internet, doesn’t mean there aren’t people on the internet every day looking for you and your business, product, or service.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Cynthia Clinton offers web design, graphic design, Dreamweaver instruction, copywriting services, document formatting services, and photo enhancement through her primary business Cloistre Media. She also leads life changing Break Out Of Negativity workshops for individuals in the evenings as well as corporate clients during the business day. Additionally, she’s been a Jewelry Designer since 1997 and has published 4 jewelry making books. She is available for jewelery making classes on weekends and sells her jewelry making books & projects online.

Tags: death of yellow pages, google, informational website, internet presence, online presence, search, web, web site, yellow pages

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Geeks Of Our Lives, Vol. II

June 1st, 2008

She laid there smoking a sweet, dark cigarillo.  God love a babe with her juicy, red lips wrapped around any kind of cigar.  She sensed he was going to be making a departure when she logged out for the day.

“Wait!” she cried.  “Don’t tell anyone!”

He turned, “Are you ashamed of me?”

“Yes!  I mean no!  I just don’t want anyone to know!  I’m supposed to hate you!”

He hung his head.  He got this from everyone he was with.  It was the same old tired refrain.  They wanted him alright… but secretly.  He guessed perhaps there could be some pride in being a babe’s secret shame.  He thought perhaps he could get used to it, but it still stung a bit.  Still in all, he said quietly, “I guess I’m happy to be of use despite your ‘embarrassment’, but I’m not bitter.”

Oh, she felt horrible!  The last one she’d had was great in his way, but left her wanting and she didn’t even realize she’d been wanting until she met this one.  What was she going to do?  She didn’t want him to leave on this note.  She wanted to know he’d be back.

He turned the knob to go and heard her cry, “Vista!  Wait!  I wish you were on my other computer too!”  She wrung her hands as tears ran down her cheeks, but continued with her confession, “You just… do so much for me.  I’m supposed to hate you and resist your considerable charms, but I can’t.  I can’t!”

A smile creased his face and he knew he had her.  He closed her door behind him and whistled as he walked down the hall.  He heard her door open behind him and she called, “But don’t twit this to anyone.  I have a Google Alert.  I’ll know!”

Tags: geek love, Windows Vista

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Geeks Of Our Lives, Vol. I

May 30th, 2008

I recently installed a piece of software that came with my digital camera because the manual made it sound like I absolutely needed it in order to download my pictures from my Kodak Easy Share. I didn’t plan on installing it at all, but like I said… the manual really made it sound like I needed it.However, I installed the software and jumped through all the hoops of fire and then found what appeared to be the only way to transfer my pictures from the device. How? By uploading them to the Kodak Gallery which required me to open a free account. This is where bitchy Cynthia says, “I don’t want to open a fucking account and I don’t care if it’s free.” (Or alternatively… “I don’t want to dance in your fascist puppet show!”) Despite having a name with “Easy” in it (the camera, not me), there was no obvious way to transfer the pictures and it was only after digging around I saw where it kept asking for the account name and password (which I had skirted setting up like five times during install), so it could upload to the gallery.

No, no, no, NO! When we bought this camera, we didn’t do it to buy into their crap. All this gallery crap might be okay for some grandma that can barely use email, but it’s totally unacceptable to me. Luckily, Tim has a card reader that he uses with his camera and I love that darned thing, so I went and got it and had my pictures on my hard drive in less than 2 minutes start to finish. And I had 77 pictures on there. Easy Share, my ass. Okay, maybe if you do it their way… but we’ve already established I’m not doing that.

Feeling cranky about the whole software waste of time, I decided to kick my man, Kodak, to the curb. I clicked on start and found him the programs list. I was shocked to discover that there was no uninstall option. Already our relationship is doomed. Undaunted, I went to Add/Remove Programs and told it to remove the waste of time I affectionately know as Kodak. Now here is where I was again surprised and even more annoyed… all it did was open the install wizard and there was still no uninstall choice. Then it threw an error. I’m not just being mean when I say that doesn’t happen to every guy. I can tickle the uninstall out of just about anyone. But not Kodak, apparently. Ppphhhtt!

I opened up my TweakAll and tried to get rid of him from there, but it opened the same install screen as the Add/Remove did. So I went to my C-drive, and navigated to my program files, then to Kodak and hit delete. Heh, it threw an error and said it couldn’t delete because it couldn’t access this one file. Demanding little cuss, this Kodak.

So I went to Start/Run and I typed those relationship killing words… MSCONFIG and pressed enter. :… I love the smell of napalm in the morning! …: Under the STARTUP tab, I removed the checkmark from in front of any item appearing to be even remotely related to Kodak Easy Share (and a couple of other pesky things too). Then I clicked apply and then close that sweet, little lover out. I was tempted by the siren RE-BOOT and allowed myself to surrender to her, aware I’d crossed over to the other side.

While I was smoking my virtual cigarette, I got a little warning that told me some changes were made. Yes, darling, I know. That’s okay. Change can be a girl’s best friend. Don’t show me this warning again, okay? :… patting my computer on the ass …:

Then I went back to Add/Remove to throw all of Kodak’s stuff out onto the lawn and he still wouldn’t go. So I trudged back to C:/Program Files and right clicked on Kodak. With a savoring flourish, I selected Delete. Blink! Gone! Nothing, but a white hole stood where Kodak had been. Damn, I need another virtual cigarette. That was good. I might reinstall so I can do it again.

Very good, indeed. :… exhales …: Sometimes it just feels right to fuck when you’re mad.

Tags: Art

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